Sunday, June 17, 2007

I'm screwed

So here I am sitting at my desk, wondering "What the fuck am I going to do?" There are actually quite a few thoughts going through my mind.
First, my dad lost his job and with it our biggest/main source of income...meanwhile I have built up a ridiculously large sum of debt. That means I going to have a difficult time helping out. In fact, I haven't been helping out much lately because I have not been able to. Before I would give my father around two hundred dollars from each check. Now, I sure could use an extra two hundred each check.
Second, my court date is June 29th. I have seven days to do six more days of community service. That gives me one extra day as breathing room. Unfortunately, I also have to attend that morgue thing. In order to attend I need an appointment, to obtain an appointment I need to turn in my essay for the DUI Prevention program. Yea, I attended that one a while ago, but I've yet to write the essay. I should do that right after this so I can go in tomorrow morning, but I probably won't. Most of my troubles are caused by my own self.
Lastly...stuff. It has to do with people. I won't say anything because I'm probably just being dumb. In other words, it's all in my head. Well not entirely, I love my best friend, she is a wonderful person and I'm thankful to have met her. It's been over a year however, and I'm starting to feel pretty lonely, but guilty at the same time for having that feeling. On top of that, I'm starting to feel like, idk, I'm being pushed away (or maybe I'm the one doing the pushing). I don't feel as close to her as I once did, and I'm not sure why. Again, I'm probably just being dumb. I need to go out and get laid. It sure has been long enough since the last time.
There's other stuff, too. I don't want to be a downer, but I can't help feeling unhappy with my life. I wished I had someone I could really talk to, tell them everything, and hopefully they would let me know that I am being stupid. Then I would be ok.

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